Twisted, Bent, and Dizzy

trovejarr:

(via bunbby)

chenderson:

wilwheaton:

joehillsthrills:

I was feeling a little blue and I was looking for something on the internet to cheer me up and Warren Ellis has a post on his tumblr pointing to a website, I Write Like, so I thought, oh, hey, why not? Warren got David Foster Wallace; I was thinking, huh, maybe it’ll tell me I write like John Steinbeck! Hell, maybe David Mitchell!!!

Sigh. Going to bed now.

PS - It’s funny. I admit it. Even I think it’s funny.

For the .0000000000001% of you who don’t know: Stephen King is Joe’s dad.

This is hilarious on many levels.

(via happy-healthy-and-fit)

comfortspringstation:

DIY Non-Dairy Milk

You can make a variety of plant-based “milks” by blending raw nuts, seeds, and grains with water. Almonds, cashews, macadamias, Brazil nuts, hazelnuts, pecans, pistachios, coconuts, soybeans, hemp seeds, pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds, sesame seeds, sacha inchi seeds, flaxseeds, quinoa, millet, rice, and oats can all be liquefied into delicious milks. Homemade milks are fresh, free of additives and preservatives, and you can completely control the integrity of the product: the quality of the ingredients, the sugar levels, and the texture.

“Milking” raw nuts, seeds, and grains is quick and easy. Here’s how to do it:

SOAK nuts, seeds, or grains by placing in a bowl with filtered water and a pinch of sea salt. Soaking removes enzyme inhibitors, improves digestibility and nutrient bio-availability, and helps everything blend more easily. Rinse thoroughly and drain.

BLEND with filtered water. A high-speed machine like a Vitamix is preferable to really pulverize the mixture. A 1:3 ration of nuts/seeds/grains to water generally yields good results. Start with 2 cups of water and gradually add more water until you get the taste and consistency you like. Blend for about 1 minute. This can warm the mixture. Chill in the fridge, or blend with ice to consume immediately.

SWEETEN the milk to taste with pitted dates, stevia, maple syrup, agave, coconut sugar, etc. You can also add 1 teaspoon of vanilla extract to boost flavors, and 1 tablespoon of NON-GM soy or sunflower lecithin and coconut butter to emulsify ingredients. You can also jazz up your milks with raw cacao, fruit, cinnamon, nutmeg, or anything else that tickles your fancy.

STRAIN Some foods like cashews, macadamias, and pecans yield smooth milks. However, with most other foods, like almonds, you will get some texture. You can enjoy this fibrous milk, or strain it for a smoother, more commercial-style blend. Place a nut milk bag over a large container, pour the milk in, and gently squeeze the bag until all liquid has passed through. You can re-purpose the pulp as a body scrub by mixing with some coconut oil, or dehydrate it for use in cookies, crusts, and crackers.

ENJOY Most milks will keep in the fridge in a sealed container for two or three days. Freeze any leftovers in ice cube trays for use later. Homemade milks can separate when stored. Just shake or blend again before drinking.

Basic Plant-Based “Milk”

1 cup nuts, grains, or seeds
3 cups filtered water
3 Tbs. plant based sweetener (such as maple syrup, raw agave, coconut sugar, or 3-4 pitted dates, or stevia to taste)
1 Tbs. coconut butter (optional, for texture)
1 Tbs. Non-GM soy or sunflower lecithin (optional, to emulsify and add creaminess)
1 tsp. natural vanilla extract
Pinch of Celtic sea salt (optional, to bring out flavors)

1. Soak nuts, grains, or seeds for desired time. See suggested times below.
2. Drain nuts, grains, or seeds. Rinse, and then place in blender with 3 cups filtered water. Add remaining ingredients, and blend on high until fully liquefied, about 1 minute.
4. If consuming immediately, add a few ice cubes to cool milk.
5. Strain with a nut milk bag, if desired. Milk will keep for two days stored in a sealed glass jar in the fridge.

Makes 3-4 cups milk.


(Originally by Tess Masters.)

Soaking time varies by hardness of nut or seed. Here are some more specific guide times for soaking the grains, nuts and seeds (with sprouting times when making sprouts):

Food                            Soaking Time (Hrs)    Sprouting Time (Days)

Almonds                          8-12                             No Sprouting

Adzuki Beans                  8-12                               4

Amaranth                        8                                    1-3

Barley                             6                                     2

Black Beans                   8-12                                3

Brazil Nuts                      3                                   No Sprouting

Buckwheat                     6                                      2-3

Cashews                        2-4                                No Sprouting Chickpeas/Garbanzo    8                                      2-3

Flaxseeds                     ½                                  No Sprouting

Hazelnuts                      8-12                              No Sprouting

Kamut                           7                                      2-3

Lentil Beans                 7                                       2-3

Macadamias                 2                                    No Sprouting

Millet                            5                                      12 hours

Mung Beans               8-12                                  4

Oat Groats                 6                                       2-3

Pecans                       6                                     No Sprouting

Pistachios                   8                                     No Sprouting

Pumpkin Seeds          8                                       3

Radish Seeds             8-12                                 3-4

Sesame Seeds           8                                       2-3

Sunflower Seeds        8                                       12-24 hours

Quinoa                       4                                       2-3

Walnuts                      4                                     No Sprouting

Wheat Berries            7                                       3-4

Wild Rice                    9                                       3-5

(via veganfeast)

hope-is-not-uncharted:

femmeandrogyne:

dondadayoh:

Okay so heres something that I feel ppl never take into consideration when using this example- if the cup was full prior, and you poured out half of it, it is totally valid for it to be seen as half empty, and if prior the cup was empty, it would totally make sense that someone would view it as half full. So be aware that past experiences have an affect on how ppl view things and you telling them to “look on the bright side” is just another way of saying “conform to my mindset”.

You are wonderful.

This post just got even better because of that comment.

(via honeyysprinkles)